Lunch Chat: Madonna and Christopher Ciccone
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Photo by lemonysarah
LUNCH CHAT INTRODUCTION
Happy New Year, Everyone!
Today, I am happy to launch yet another exciting new series!
I have several series going on at the same time, so I hope there’s something here for everyone’s tastes and learning styles. This one’s called “Lunch Chat”; and, unlike, anything I’ve done on this blog before, I’m using a screenplay format to present different—and, often, controversial—issues, viewpoints, and personalities as food for thought.
I hope this will not only be a fun change of pace from the usual expository or persuasive writing styles I typically use to teach my lessons here on this blog, but that this will be yet one more way you can continue learning about all the things that inspire, annoy, amuse, or perplex us in our daily lives, by being the proverbial “fly on the wall” listening to these women talk amongst themselves during their lunch breaks from the usual grind of work.
LUNCH CHAT: MADONNA AND CHRISTOPHER CICCONE
Sabrina: Great to see all of you! What’s everybody been up to?
Kristen: Well, I’ve been reading about the new Madonna book
Lola: Oh yeah? What’s he got to say that everybody—and their brother—doesn’t already know?
[Lola and Nikki give each other a little high five in the air (as if to say, “Good one!”), without getting up from their chairs or moving very much. Nikki is slouching in her chair, checking out the other people in the restaurant from time to time.]
Kristen: Not much really. There were a few things, but I forgot.
Data: No. 1: He claims Madonna lied about how she began her career by going to New York with only $35, no place to stay, and no connections. According to him, she had plenty of money, a place to stay, and a lot of connections. No. 2: She was not the poor, little Cinderella forced to work by her evil stepmother. In fact, her family was comfortably middle-class; she was her dad’s favorite because she looked like her mom; and, her step-mom was actually afraid of her so Madonna was the only kid who didn’t do any chores. No. 3: Madonna treated him like a servant, refused to pay him fairly for work he did for her as an interior designer, and even stiffed him for tens of thousands of dollars, according to him, just because she changed her mind about some paintings she asked him to buy, which he had paid for with his own money. Oh, and, I’m not sure if this counts because it’s really a criticism of Guy Ritchie—but I guess you could say it reflects poorly on Madonna for allowing it—Guy was openly homophobic and almost ran over Christopher’s foot. Christopher is homosexual, in case I failed to mention that.
Kristen: Yup. That pretty much covers it.
Maggie: She’s quite the witch, isn’t she? Still my hero, though.
Grace: I don’t know who I feel sorry for more! It’s terrible when family members tear each other apart like that in public; and, it seems to happen more and more. [Shakes head.]
Kristen: Like who else?
Grace: Hmm. Let me think … Sorry, I’m drawing a blank.
Data: Christian Bale, his mother and sister. Britney Spears and her mom. Lindsay Lohan and her dad. Tatum O’Neal and her dad. Angelina Jolie and her dad. Do you want me to continue?
Grace: That’s enough! And, that doesn’t even include spouses or lovers. All too sad! You know what I’d love to see?
Farah: What?
Grace: Some kind of tell-all story about something we all thought was a really horrible person but it actually turns out that person was incredibly nice.
Lola: Well, don’t hold your breath. No one would write it. No one would buy it. And, no one would read it. Not to mention: no such person exists.
[Lola and Nikki give each other another “air” high five.]
Baby: Maggie, why do you like Madonna so much?
Maggie: [Looks thoughtful for a moment.] She wanted one thing in life, and that was to be crazy rich and famous. Then, she went after that goal with everything she had. I know she wasn’t any kind of Cinderella, like she wants people to think. But, I remember when I first heard her give an interview on the radio. I thought she was a black girl straight from the ghetto. When I first saw her on MTV, I was shocked. There she was, this short, chubby, gum-chomping, pale-faced kid who looked like a strung-out homeless person, and she made herself into the world’s most famous woman alive—maybe of all time—second only to her namesake. Not too shabby for a woman who admitted in her own documentary she’s not much of a singer or dancer. I only wish I could find what I want that badly to go after it with that much initiative and ambition.
Missy: Well, I think she’s an awful person. I’d hardly call her hero material.
Maggie: [Raises eyebrows at her as if to ask, “Why?”]
Missy: Well … It’s obvious, isn’t it? Do I really have to go into all the disgusting details of her life?
Sabrina: It’s hardly fair to condemn someone to a whole group of people without even stating your reasons why.
Missy: Come on! You guys all know what I’m talking about!
Maggie: [Stares at Missy and waits silently.]
Missy: Okay. I’ll say it. She’s a whore. Or a slut. Whatever you want to call her. And a user. And a drug user. She abuses people, drugs, and everything else in life to get what she wants. And, that’s why she’s so unhappy—and her family can’t stand her—and she doesn’t even have any real friends. And, now, she’s getting a big fat messy divorce for the second time because no man can stand her for very long. [To Maggie:] There! Happy now?
[Maggie looks bored.]
Data: Her marriage to Ritchie lasted 8 years. That’s an eternity for celebrities.
Farah: Good point. How long was the one with Sean?
Data: Four. That was a pretty decent amount of time, too, given that they were both in their early twenties at the time.
Farah: [Laughs and shakes head.] I don’t know how you remember all this stuff!
Data: Sometimes I wish I didn’t.
Sabrina: It’s almost one o’clock. Time to head back to the office.
[Everybody gets up and says their “goodbyes” and “see you laters.”]
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