To Hell and Back with Steve Pavlina

Friday, October 31st 2008 by Shanel Yang

Steve Pavlina has been called a self help guru and even a blogging god.

He’s certainly revolutionized the world of blogging from what was at one time merely online semi-personal diaries or the sharing of personal photos and musings or rants with family and friends. And, on the other hand, the only self help available on the internet seemed to be single-page advertisements for books, lectures, or other paid-for services for self-help, counseling, life coaching, or consulting. Then, came Pavlina.

He stepped into the arena and created something that had never been done before—at least not that I’m aware of—provided hundreds of free, in-depth articles about how to improve your life from the inside-out. And, he did this courageously by sharing his own amazing and ongoing personal development journey that started when he had it all and almost threw it all away. He bravely admits that when he was a promising young student at U.C. Berkeley, he stopped going to classes, abused alcohol, and committed criminal acts of vandalism and theft on whim just for the thrill of it. He confesses that he was selfish, smug, and self-important—until his senseless acts landed him in jail. After multiple arrests, he feared he would have to serve at least a few years in prison. But, when luck let him off with a few months of community service, he began to slowly turn his life around. Thank goodness for all of us that he wasn’t sent away to prison!

Because not only did he start his world famous one-of-a-kind revolutionary self-help blog StevePavlina.com, he has now come out with a monster powerhouse of a self-help book called Personal Development for Smart People. But, before he did that, he started a business and experienced all the high and lows of that venture, ending up in bankruptcy at one point and getting kicked out of his apartment with his wife. Basically, Pavlina’s been there, done that, and has lived to tell about it. His experiences of going through hell and fighting his way back and beyond, to stand on the vista where he now stands, can all be to our greatest gain—if we use his shared wisdom and apply it to our own lives.

His blog is great, but his book is better!

I’m a slow reader to begin with—but, when I come across a book that is chock-full of pearls of wisdom and excellent exercises to help me further understand its messages—well, that just slows me down even more. So, I’m still working my way through Pavlina’s pithy book. Still, I do want to share one example of how profoundly his book has already changed my life. It’s about the chapter on love.

I was already familiar with the Jungian psychology teaching that every person and every thing we dream about during sleep is really a part of us since our brains created all of those images. I mean whatever we dream, even the villains in our dreams, are actually something we thought up. So, whatever motives, actions, traits, mannerisms, or appearances we give to these “bad” guys in our dreams are really things that are part of who we are because we thought or dreamt them up! When looked at that way, they’re not so bad or scary, right? Even more empowering than realizing these are mere constructs of our own minds, albeit originating from our past experiences with the outside world, is realizing we have the power to change our views about, and, hence, our fear reactions to these so-called bad guys and scary situations in our dreams. Then, like magic, we find our dreams becoming less frightening and our dream selves in them more powerful and happy. It sounds too simple or too good to be true, but it really does work!

The Pavlina part of this story is that he extends this amazing way of thinking about our dream worlds to the outside world! I had never thought about doing that before! But, now that I’ve been exposed to that possibility—thanks to Pavlina’s book and his chapter on love—it all makes complete sense. Why shouldn’t the real world constructs be any more difficult for us to adjust our mindsets about than our dream worlds? Both are products of what we perceive them to be, as I’ve written about already in several posts. (See, e.g., “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” “Fan Your Inner Flame Till It Burns Bright,” and “What Kind of Ump Are You?”)

This way of looking at my fellow humans in waking life has completely changed the way I think and feel about them. Now, when I see strangers acting mean or stupid or silly, I don’t quickly judge or dismiss them out of hand like I used to. I ask myself honestly, “What about them, or what they’re doing, is really bothering me and why?” Then, after I identify that, I ask myself, “Haven’t I ever acted that way? Isn’t it okay for all of us to act that way sometimes?” Then, I can relax and accept them exactly the way they are because I would want them to do the same for me if I happened to be acting that way. And, suddenly, I find I have really connected with them, identified with them, and feel a strange belonging with them—even though they have no idea that all of this just happened. And, if I wanted to start an honest, warm-hearted conversation with them and become friends, I could.

I fall in love with humanity all over again whenever I apply Pavlina’s advice for how to love all people. And, that’s just from one chapter! This is a wonderful start for me. I do believe you can improve your life, too, if you honestly apply his advice.

CONCLUSION

Is Pavlina a blogging god? One of the definitions for “god” with a lower case “g,” according to the American Heritage Dictionary, is “one that is worshiped, idealized, or followed.” I do follow a lot of his advice, from his blog and his book, so maybe!

For your own copy of Personal Development for Smart People, click here.

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[For “Top 5 Simple Yet Profound Books,” click here.]

[For “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” click here.]

[For “Fan Your Inner Flame Till It Burns Bright,” click here.]

[For “What Kind of Ump Are You?,” click here.]

[For “So Much Self Help, So Little Time!” click here.]

[For “300 Friendship Quotes,” click here.]

[For “300 Identity Quotes,” click here.]

[For “300 Passion Quotes,” click here.]

[For “300 Dream Quotes,” click here.]

[For “125 Sarcastic Quotes,” click here.]