10 Things We Know We Should Do … and Why We Don’t

Monday, October 6th 2008 by Shanel Yang         Email this article to a friend

Remember Family Feud? “Oh yeah,” you’re thinking, “That was the game show where the smarmy host tried to kiss all the females in the families, right?” Yep, that’s the one.

To win the cash, the “feuding” families tried to guess what the top 10 answers were to such basic questions as, “What is your biggest pet peeve?” And the answers were based on whatever the mysterious “100 people surveyed” said. I never questioned the validity of the results of those surveys because they seemed plausible enough, if not always probable. For example, I often disagreed with their No. 1 picks.

I think if I randomly surveyed 100 self help blog readers to ask them what they know they should do but don’t, I’d come up with the following top 10 results. Which leads me to the question of why—if we know we should do these things—don’t we?

10 THINGS WE KNOW WE SHOULD DO AND WHY WE DON’T

1. SUNSCREEN

a. We all know it’s good for us because: It helps prevent skin cancer, overall skin cell damage, and premature aging, as in sunspots, fine wrinkles, and a pachyderm-like hide. Not pretty. See, also, “Lessons from the ‘Sunscreen Speech.’”

b. We don’t do it because: (a) Cheap sunscreen is greasy and sometimes smells bad; (b) good sunscreen is expensive; (c) even if just a little gets in your eyes, it burns like crazy for hours; (d) all sunscreen, cheap or good, is a hassle because it’s just one more step to add to our already burdensome morning routines.

c. What helps me do it anyway: Unfortunately, I don’t do this as religiously as I should, mostly because I spend most of my time indoors blogging. But, I never go skiing without it anymore. That’s how I got my dreaded rosacea! See “Naturally Beautiful Skin.” What helps me to remember to apply it when I am about to spend at least a few hours out in the sun is actually my rosacea. I didn’t think it could happen to me, but it did! So, if you are lucky enough not to have it yet, wear that sunscreen! And, if you are similarly afflicted, like me, that goes double for us!

2. EXERCISE

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (a) It’s a natural anti-depressant, both lifting and stabilizing our mood; (b) it raises our metabolism, increases muscle mass, and stretches our stamina; (c) and, it certainly helps us look our best.

b. We don’t do it because: (a) No one likes to get hot, sweaty, and smelly; (b) even worse, no one wants to be around others who are hot, sweaty, and smelly; and, (b) it usually takes twice as long to just gather all our exercise gear and travel to wherever we like to go to do our exercise as it does to actually workout.

c. What helps me do it anyway: I stretch, dance, lift dumbbells, and do random calisthenics or ballet barre exercises at home. No specific time or routine. Just whenever my body feels like it needs to move, I move it and enjoy it! Mix and match all the physical things you enjoy doing at home and make that your workout.

3. EAT RIGHT

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (a) We have way more energy and creativity when we do it; (b) for most of us, it’s the one habit we can change to extend our lives the most; (c) it stabilizes our mood; and, (d) it gives us great skin, hair, eyes, teeth, muscle tone, bone structure, and posture—in a word, confidence!

b. We don’t do it because: (a) Most people don’t know how to plan healthy, simple, tasty, and affordable meals; (b) we also don’t know how to shop for them, store them, and make the most of them; and, (c) even after we learn how to do these things, it’s hard to find such meals to eat anywhere outside our own homes.

c. What helps me do it anyway: Constant reminders that if I don’t do this now and keep doing it now, I’ll never make it to my 120th year like I plan to. And, I certainly want to live as many of those years as disease-free and pain-free as possible!

4. BUDGET (SPEND LESS; SAVE MORE)

a. We all know it’s good for us because: It’s the only way for most of us, short of a windfall, to get out of debt and save enough money for retirement or finance some other big dreams, like traveling around the world or starting our own businesses.

b. We don’t do it because: We mistake being frugal with acting “cheap” or “poor.” We equate frugality with scarcity, deprivation, and sacrifice. Many think it “un-American” to stop overspending and start working toward financial freedom, so we fear social ostracism and ridicule by friends and strangers alike if we stop.

c. What helps me do it anyway: Freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want with whomever I want. And, the things I want to do cost a lot of money, like starting a special school for underprivileged kids. So, I must save to get there.

5. LESS TV

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (a) It’s a huge time drain with very little true enjoyment derived from it after the first hour or so; (b) it’s expensive; and, (c) when it comes to our attention span, if we use it all up watching TV every spare moment we get, we have no mental juice left for reading books, viewing more stimulating stuff like documentaries or biographies, or interacting with real people.

b. We don’t do it because: (a) We are addicted to our favorite shows; (b) it’s too convenient to ignore; and, (c) we might as well use it since we’re paying for it.

c. What helps me do it anyway: I cut the cable. Cold turkey. Now I rent from Netflix and Blockbuster, as needed. At least when I sit down in front of my TV now, I am watching 100% of what I want to see and not 50% of TV commercials for other TV that shows I don’t want to see and products that I don’t need.

6. MORE BOOKS

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (1) It’s still one of the best ways to learn about ourselves and the world; (2) like exercise and eating right, when we actually do it, we often end up enjoying it way more than we expected; and, (3) also, like exercise and eating right, a little goes a long way toward overall life enjoyment.

b. We don’t do it because: (1) We’re too busy filling up all our leisure time with TV; (2) we don’t like to be reminded of all the stuff we don’t know; and, (3) reading anything longer than a blog post is too much like schoolwork. ‘Nuff said.

c. What helps me do it anyway: (1) It’s long lasting, relatively cheap (especially if I borrow them from the library) entertainment mixed in with a lot of education—my spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down; (2) once I start something, I usually want to finish it; and, (3) it fills me with ideas for stuff I’d like to write.

7. RESTFUL SLEEP

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (1) It recharges our entire body from head to toe, especially our motor coordination and creative thinking skills, leaving us far more capable of handling stressful situations and solving difficult problems; (2) if you’re trying to gain muscle mass or lose fat, sleep is essential to speed those metabolic processes along; and, (3) it improves our mood and looks, too!

b. We don’t do it because: (1) Something’s always getting in the way (great movie you want to keep watching, exciting book you just can’t put down, or, worst of all, last minute work for school or office that just has to get done tonight, or else!); (2) others keep us up (neighbor noise, partner noise, kids noise, or our own internal chatter; and, (3) napping is only for babies and very young children, right?

c. What helps me do it anyway: (1) Reminding myself that sleep is not a luxury but a necessity for a long life, good health, and great looks—and napping is definitely not just for kids; (2) thinking of the next day’s challenges and wanting to rise fresh and strong to meet them; and, (3) the promise of fascinating dreams during sleep and creative outbursts just before I succumb to it (which is why I always take my Moleskine and pen to bed with me). Only fasting is more curative than sleep!

8. BE NICE (TO SELF AND OTHERS)

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (1) It lifts everybody’s mood—ours and everyone else’s around us; (2) it improves all of our health and relationships; and, (3) makes everything we do more pleasant and that much more enjoyable.

b. We don’t do it because: (1) So many things annoy us and we let them get to us throughout the day; (2) we habitually focus on the negative instead of the positive; and, (3) as when switching to a more frugal lifestyle, we fear being shunned by family and friends for such drastic changes from our former selves.

c. What helps me do it anyway: (1) I stopped worrying about being called a Pollyanna, naive, or unrealistically optimistic; (2) I constantly remind myself to forgive myself and others in order to escape from my own prison of pain; and, (3) I learned to love and respect myself the most and let others accept me as I am.

9. BE HONEST (TO SELF AND OTHERS)

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (1) We’ve all heard the expression, “The truth shall set you free”; (2) it’s easier than trying to keep track of all the lies; and, (3) we hate it when others lie to us (active dishonesty) or keep the truth from us knowing we would want and would expect to know it (passive dishonesty).

b. We don’t do it because: (1) Even though we’ve heard that the trust is supposed to set us free, we still aren’t exactly sure what means or trust that it really applies to every situation; (2) we remember too many times when we told the truth and regretted it big time; and, (3) sometimes it’s easier for everybody concerned to just lie or tell half-truths than to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

c. What helps me do it anyway: (1) I got myself away from most of the people who can’t take the truth—life really is too short and there are so many cool people out there who actually want the truth; (2) reminding myself that being honest is not mutually exclusive with being nice; and, (3) treating others how I would like to be treated.

10. DON’T WORRY; BE HAPPY

a. We all know it’s good for us because: (1) Worrying rarely helps and happiness is, as Aristotle said, the meaning of life; (2) worrying and happiness are mutually exclusive; and, (3) worrying clouds your ability to think clearly and, as such, impedes your ability to be both honest and nice without running afoul of either goal.

b. We don’t do it because: (1) The world is full of toxic people trying to bring us down; (2) we don’t really know how to stop worrying and how to be happy; and, (3) we don’t really want to stop worrying and be happy because then what?

c. What helps me do it anyway: (1) I’ve finally had a good long taste of happiness and I want more!; (2) reminding myself that there is nothing I’d rather be doing than first being happy then helping others find their own happiness; and, (3) read a lot of happiness quotes, dream quotes, and existence and forgiveness quotes!

CONCLUSION

Um, it goes without saying that if you take drugs, drink too much, or smoke (all ways of abusing yourself), or otherwise abuse yourself or neglect other people, these are things that you also know you should stop doing. The “why-you-don’t” part is much harder to address and often requires professional help. If you know you have one of these serious problems, please get help. Happiness can be yours, too! You just have to really want it, then work hard for it, like the rest of us. : )

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