200 Forgiveness Quotes

We all have done things to others and have had things done to us that are hard to forgive and forget. But, the majority of great minds seem to agree that forgiveness is key to happiness.

But, what does it really mean to forgive someone? Who, what, when, why, and how should we forgive?

Or, should we always forgive everyone—including ourselves—for anything and everything as soon as their—or your—transgression stops? Is that even humanly possible? Well, I don’t know if it’s possible, but it certainly is desirable when you realize all the terrible self-harm that any lingering hate, anger, resentment, or other negative thoughts or feelings causes.

Have a look at these quotes. They give plenty of food for thought. One thing is certain: Forgiveness is a highly personal matter. Only you can forgive yourself and forgive others who may have wronged you—and only when you are truly ready.

200 QUOTES ABOUT FORGIVENESS

1. To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
- Franklin P. Adams

2. Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
- Scott Adams

3. Know all and you will pardon all.
- Thomas A’Kempis

4. Learning to let things go and forgive isn’t always easy, but when we truly forgive, it helps foster better health, better relationships, a deeper sense of purpose and self worth and a feeling of connection to others.
- Robert Alan

5. You may not be able to forget past wrongs and there is no reason why you should if they have taught you valuable lessons. Your past has made you who you are today, but in order to assimilate your past with your present, you need to forgive. Forgiveness comes from the heart and from understanding. You cannot have forgiveness without compassion.
- Greer Allica

6. We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate—thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising.
- Maya Angelou

7. I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But, what I learned to do, many years ago, was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because, if you live, you will make mistakes—it is inevitable. But, once you do, and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, “Well, if I’d known better, I’d have done better.” That’s all. So, you say to people who you think you may have injured, “I’m sorry,” and then you say to yourself, “I’m sorry.” If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others; but, in the end, the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now, mind you: When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black, or too white, or too poor, or too fat, or too thin, or too sexual, or too asexual, that’s rough. But, you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that, we never grow, we never learn, and, sure as hell, we should never teach.
- Maya Angelou

8. Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
- Hannah Arendt

9. Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
- Oren Arnold

10. Without forgiveness life is governed by … an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
- Roberto Assagioli

11. Our anger and annoyance are more detrimental to us than the things themselves which anger or annoy us.
- Marcus Aurelius

12. Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.
- Sholem Asch

13. Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again.
- Saint Augustine

14. We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.
- Francis Bacon

15. Most of us can forgive and forget; we just don’t want the other person to forget that we forgave.
- Ivern Ball

16. I think one should forgive and remember … If you forgive and forget in the usual sense, you’re just driving what you remember into the subconscious; it stays there and festers. But to look, even regularly, upon what you remember and know you’ve forgiven is achievement.
- Faith Baldwin

17. Injuries too well remembered cannot heal.
- Benjamin R. Barber

18. “I can forgive, but I cannot forget” is only another way of saying, “I will not forgive.” Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.
- Henry Ward Beecher

19. If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive.
- Bhagavad Gita

20. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
- Josh Billings

21. Forgiveness is almost a selfish act because of its immense benefits to the one who forgives.
- Lawana Blackwell

22. The hatred you’re carrying is a live coal in your heart, far more damaging to yourself than to them.
- Lawana Blackwell

23. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
- William Blake

24. Mutual forgiveness of each vice. Such are the Gates of Paradise.
- William Blake

25. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese

26. Some tension is necessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive, and to serve.
- Joan Borysenko

27. Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.
- Charlotte Bronte

28. Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.
- Phillips Brooks

29. Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.
- Les Brown

30. Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

31. Good, to forgive;
Best to forget.
- Robert Browning

32. To understand everything is to forgive everything.
- Buddha

33. Love yourself; accept yourself; forgive yourself; and, be good to yourself—because, without you, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.
- Leo F. Buscaglia

34. You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them.
- Albert Camus

35. Forgiving is one of the most difficult things for a human being to do, but I think it means looking at some slight you feel, putting yourself in the position of the other person, and wiping away any sort of resentment and antagonism you feel toward them. Then let that other person know that everything is perfectly friendly and normal between you.
- Jimmy Carter

36. Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
- Cherie Carter-Scott

37. Sometimes forgiving was easy for me; sometimes forgiving was a very bold choice. Whatever kind of choice it was, it always led me to a more peaceful heart. It always left me happier and free to move on to create healthier relationships with others and with myself.
- Robin Casarjian

38. Sometimes choices are made in the name of forgiveness while what is occurring isn’t forgiveness at all. It is important not to confuse being forgiving with denying your own feelings, needs, and desires. Forgiving doesn’t mean being passive and staying in a job or a relationship that clearly doesn’t work for you or is abusive. It is important that you are clear about your boundaries. What is acceptable for you? If you are willing to allow unacceptable behavior again and again in the name of “forgiveness,” you are more than likely using “forgiveness” as an excuse not to take responsibility for taking care of yourself or as a way to avoid making changes.
- Robin Casarjian

39. Don’t allow your self-forgiveness to be contingent upon somebody else’s readiness or willingness to forgive you. They may get something out of holding on to anger that they aren’t ready to let go of. They may be too frightened or wounded to let go of their anger. Feeling angry may be an important part of their healing process at this time. Allow others to be where they are. Respect their right to feel the way they feel.
- Robin Casarjian

40. Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business.
- Robin Casarjian

41. Forgiveness is like climbing Mount Everest,
not many experience it.
-Rosie Cash

42. Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury.
- E. H. Chapin

43. To understand is to forgive, even oneself.
- Alexander Chase

44. Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever.
- Lord Chesterfield

45. Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies.
- Philip Dormer Chesterfield

46. To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
- G. K. Chesterton

47. The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience. Metaphorically, it’s the curtain standing between the room you’re living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer.
- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

48. Take it slowly. The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we’re protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you’ve decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in awhile. Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances.
- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

49. In the long run, it’s not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You’re not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being, forgiveness is simply the most energy-efficient option. It frees you from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Don’t let these people live rent free in your head. If they hurt you before, why let them keep doing it year after year in your mind? It’s not worth it but it takes heart effort to stop it. You can muster that heart power to forgive them as a way of looking out for yourself. It’s one thing you can be totally selfish about.
- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

50. As difficult as it seems, you can be sure of this: At the core of the heart, you have the power to move beyond the old issues that are still hindering your freedom. The hardest things—the ones that push you up against your limits—are the very things you need to address to make a quantum leap into a fresh inner and outer life.
- Doc Childre and Howard Martin

51. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
- Elderidge Cleaver

52. I think forgiveness is an aspect of our humanity. I think a lot of us are brought up to believe that if we don’t somehow forgive, whatever it is that’s ailing, troubling, angering, enraging or shaming us, or getting us in any way worked up, is going to live longer without forgiveness, whether it’s ourselves or others we’re forgiving.
- Robert Coles

53. When anger rises, think of the consequences.
- Confucius

54. To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
- Confucius

55. You are never so strong as when you forgive.
- Kimberly Converse

56. He who forgives readily only invites offense.
- Pierre Cornielle

57. People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
- Bill Cosby

58. Life is an adventure in forgiveness.
- Norman Cousins

59. We plant seeds that will flower as results in our lives, so best to remove the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt, that peace and abundance may manifest for all.
- Dorothy Day

60. Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings.
- Jean de la Bruyere

61. We frequently forgive those who bore us, but cannot forgive those whom we bore.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

62. One forgives to the degree that one loves.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

63. When you are happy you can forgive a great deal.
- Princess Diana

64. The freedom to be at peace in our own skins—that’s what forgiveness allows. We relinquish this freedom when we hold onto anger and resentment. Enormous amounts of energy are wasted when we hold back our love, hold onto hate, and harbor acrimonious feelings. The only remedy is letting go, and being willing to forgive.
- Naomi Drew

65. Peace is not possible without forgiveness.
- Naomi Drew

66. We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

67. Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting … A wounded person cannot—indeed, should not—think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended.
- Beverly Flanigan

68. A [seemingly] unforgivable injury is a profound and irreversible assault on the fundamental belief system of the person who has been injured … It is not the battering but what happens to a battered woman’s beliefs as a result of the battering that makes [the injury seemingly so] unforgivable … [the most serious] injuries separate people from the very ideas they once believed were true—beliefs about themselves, the world, other people, good and bad, right and wrong, the future, and even the validity of the history they have shared with the person who hurt them … The forgiving process is one in which both morality and meaning are defined and redefined until the world again makes sense [to the person injured].
- Beverly Flanigan

69. Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought, and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new interpretation of life’s events.
- Beverly Flanigan

70. In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.
- Beverly Flanigan

71. Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always makes you less than you are.
- Malcolm Forbes

72. As I rejected amnesty, so I reject revenge. I ask all Americans who ever asked for goodness and mercy in their lives, who ever sought forgiveness for their trespasses, to join in rehabilitating all the casualties of the tragic conflict of the past.
- Gerald Ford

73. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
- Saint Francis of Assisi

74. Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
Revenging one makes you but even with him;
Forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin

75. Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.
- Isaac Friedmann

76. To be social is to be forgiving.
- Robert Frost

77. Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsense of those who think they talk sense.
- Robert Frost

78. He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven.
- Thomas Fuller

79. Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.
- Indira Gandhi

80. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- Mahatma Gandhi

81. Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.
- Mahatma Gandhi

82. If we practice and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.
- Mahatma Gandhi

83. To forgive is human, to forget divine.
- James Grand

84. Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.
- Dag Hammarskjold

85. Forgiveness breaks the chain of causality because he who forgives you—out of love—takes upon himself the consequences of what you have done. Forgiveness, therefore, always entails a sacrifice.
- Dag Hammarskjold

86. To forgive oneself? No, that doesn’t work: we have to be forgiven. But we can only believe this is possible if we ourselves can forgive.
- Dag Hammarskjold

87. There’s no point in burying a hatchet if you’re going to put up a marker on the site.
- Sydney Harris

88. It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. Hatred, by a gradual and quiet process, will even be transformed to love, unless the change be impeded by a continually new irritation of the original feeling of hostility.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

89. We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice.
- Louise Hay

90. He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
- George Herbert

91. I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget.
- Chaim Herzog

92. It’s tough to get ahead when you waste your time getting even.
- Lou Holtz

93. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.
- Grace Hopper

94. You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
- Edgar Watson Howe

95. The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods.
- Elbert Hubbard

96. Reversing your treatment of the man you have wronged is better than asking his forgiveness.
- Elbert Hubbard

97. Nobody forgets where he buried the hatchet.
- Kin Hubbard

98. If you haven’t forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?
- Dolores Huerta

99. Forgiveness means letting go of the past.
- Gerald Jampolsky

100. Forgiveness is an inner correction that lightens the heart. It is for our peace of mind first. Being at peace, we will now have peace to give to others, and this is the most permanent and valuable gift we can possibly give.
- Gerald Jampolsky

101. Get rid of imagined guilt. You did the best you could at the time, all things considered. If you made mistakes, learn to accept that we are all imperfect. Only hindsight is 20-20. If you are convinced that you have real guilt, consider professional or spiritual counseling (with a competent and trustworthy counselor). If you believe in God, a pastor can help you believe also in God’s forgiveness.
- Amy Hillyard Jensen

102. Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend.
- Jewel

103. The only reason I always try to meet and know the parents better is because it helps me to forgive their children.
- Louis Johannat

104. A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.
- Samuel Johnson

105. One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.
- Franklin P. Jones

106. Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

107. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
- John F. Kennedy

108. The sage said, “The best thing is not to hate anyone, only to love.” That is the only way out of it. As soon as you have forgiven those whom you hate, you have gotten rid of them. Then you have no reason to hate them; you just forget.
- Hazrat Inayat Khan

109. We are all on a life long journey and the core of its meaning, the terrible demand of its centrality is forgiving and being forgiven.
- Martha Kilpatrick

110. One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything before you go to bed.
- Ann Landers

111. Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.
- C. S. Lewis

112. You can’t forgive what you refuse to remember, any more than you can seek treatment for a disease whose symptoms you have yet to notice.
- Carol Luebering

113. We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

114. Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is an attitude.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

115. We achieve inner health only through forgiveness—the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves.
- Joshua Loth Liebman

116. Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.
- Lawrence G. Lovasik

117. Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.
- Joan Lunden

118. Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.
- John D. MacDonald

119. Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.
- George MacDonald

120. Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.
- David McArthur & Bruce McArthur

121. Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
- Malachy McCourt

122. Forgiveness is the oil of relationships.
- Josh McDowell

123. What we forgive too freely doesn’t stay forgiven.
- Mignon McLaughlin

124. True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.
- Mignon McLaughlin

125. When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.
- Bernard Meltzer

126. It’s far easier to forgive an enemy after you’ve got even with him.
- Olin Miller

127. Forgiveness is the economy of the heart … forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
- Hannah Moore

128. Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another’s control … to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else’s nightmare.
- Lance Morrow

129. To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
- Robert Muller

130. Decide to forgive: For resentment is negative; resentment is poisoning; resentment diminishes and devours the self.
- Robert Muller

131. Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.
- Harriet Nelson

132. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
- Reinhold Niebuhr

133. If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

134. You gave him an opportunity of showing greatness of character and he did not seize it. He will never forgive you for that.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

135. Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all of us love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour—unceasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.
- Henri Nouwen

136. The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.
- Alden Nowlan

137. Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.
- Sara Paddison

138. There is a hard law … When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive.
- Alan Paton

139. If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.
- Cesar Pavese

140. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips

141. When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
- Catherine Ponder

142. The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good.
- Catherine Ponder

143. Good-nature and good-sense must ever join;
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
- Alexander Pope

144. Yes, this is what good is: to forgive evil. There is no other good.
- Antonio Porchia

145. There’s no operation where you can have your anger cut out. But if you work on yourself, as you get better, you’ll be more capable of seeing others as flawed human beings. That makes it easier to forgive.
- Robin Quivers

146. Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness, or else forgiving another.
- Jean Paul Richter

147. True forgiveness is not an action after the fact, it is an attitude with which you enter each moment.
- David Ridge

148. The folly which we might have ourselves committed is the one which we are least ready to pardon in another.
- Joseph Roux

149. People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than for being right.
- J. K. Rowling

150. To forgive all is as inhuman as to forgive none.
- Seneca

151. The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.
- George Bernard Shaw

152. Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw

153. Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
- Sidney Simon and Suzanne Simon

154. All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you,” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay), kept the old wounds from healing, and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and, even, damage your life. And, still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself—not the people who hurt you. And, you change yourself for yourself—for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.
- Sidney Simon and Suzanne Simon

155. When you give up vengeance, make sure you are not giving up on justice. The line between the two is faint, unsteady, and fine … Vengeance is our own pleasure of seeing someone who hurt us getting it back and then some. Justice, on the other hand, is secure when someone pays a fair penalty for wronging another even if the injured person takes no pleasure in the transaction. Vengeance is personal satisfaction. Justice is moral accounting … Human forgiveness does not do away with human justice.
- Lewis B. Smedes

156. I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding of what forgiving is.
- Lewis B. Smedes

157. It takes one person to forgive; it takes two people to be reunited.
- Lewis B. Smedes

158. When we forgive evil, we do not excuse it; we do not tolerate it; we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.
- Lewis B. Smedes

159. A wise judge may let mercy temper justice, but may not let mercy undo it.
- Lewis B. Smedes

160. Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside … The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And, my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But, only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children, alone, are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them.
- Lewis B. Smedes

161. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
- Lewis B. Smedes

162. We forgive freely or we do not really forgive at all.
- Lewis B. Smedes

163. I am certain that people never forgive because they believe they have an obligation to do it or because someone told them to do it. Forgiveness has to come from inside as a desire of the heart. Wanting to is the steam that pushes the forgiving engine.
- Lewis B. Smedes

164. You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.
- Lewis B. Smedes

165. You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything … We don’t have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run.
- Lewis B. Smedes

166. Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.
- Lewis B. Smedes

167. Not even God can make something fair out of what is intrinsically unfair. Only one thing can be done. Something must break through the crust of unfairness and create a chance for a new fairness. Only forgiveness can make the breakthrough.
- Lewis B. Smedes

168. I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to get an advantage over the people they forgive. And, their instant forgiving only makes things worse … People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive … There is a right moment to forgive. We cannot predict it in advance; we can only get ourselves ready for it when it arrives … Don’t do it quickly, but don’t wait too long … If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.
- Lewis B. Smedes

169. Spoken forgiving, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people we forgive them, we must leave them free to respond to our good news however they are inclined. If the response is not what we hoped for, we can go home and enjoy our own healing in private.
- Lewis B. Smedes

170. How many times should you forgive your household bruiser? You should not even think about forgiving him. Not yet. Not as long as he has his foot on your neck. Your problem at this point is not forgiving. Your problem is how to get out of his reach. Once you get away from him, you can think about forgiving him.
- Lewis B. Smedes

171. Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But, you don’t have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But, only after you kick him out of the house. And, if you can’t get him out, get help. It’s available. In the meantime, don’t let him near the kids; and, don’t let anyone tell you that, if you forgive him, it means you have to stay with him. [There’s an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior.]
- Lewis B. Smedes

172. None of us wants to admit that we hate someone … When we deny our hate, we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful. But, the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate.
- Lewis B. Smedes

173. With a little time, and a little more insight, we begin to see both ourselves and our enemies in humbler profiles. We are not really as innocent as we felt when we were first hurt. And, we do not usually have a gigantic monster to forgive; we have a weak, needy, and somewhat stupid human being. When you see your enemy and yourself in the weakness and silliness of the humanity you share, you will make the miracle of forgiving a little easier.
- Lewis B. Smedes

174. Forgiving does not usually happen at once. It is a process, sometimes a long one, especially when it comes to wounds gouged deep. And, we must expect some lapses … some people seem to manage to finish off forgiving in one swoop of the heart. But, when they do, you can bet they are forgiving flesh wounds. Deeper cuts take more time and can use a second coat.
- Lewis B. Smedes

175. Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
- Lewis B. Smedes

176. The problem with revenge is that it never gets what it wants; it never evens the score. Fairness never comes. The chain reaction set off by every act of vengeance always takes its unhindered course. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain … Why do family feuds go on and on? … [T]he reason is simple: no two people, no two families, ever weigh pain on the same scale.
- Lewis B. Smedes

177. Gandhi was right: if we all live by “an eye for an eye,” the whole world will be blind. The only way out is forgiveness.
- Lewis B. Smedes

178. Vengeance is having a videotape planted in your soul that cannot be turned off. It plays the painful scene over and over again inside your mind … And, each time it plays, you feel the clap of pain again … Forgiving turns off the videotape of pained memory. Forgiving sets you free.
- Lewis B. Smedes

179. The more we know the better we forgive. Whoever feels deeply, feels for all who live.
- Madame de Stael

180. I believe in the forgiveness of sin and the redemption of ignorance.
- Adlai Stevenson

181. The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
- Thomas S. Szasz

182. It is useless to meet revenge with revenge. It will heal nothing.
- J.R.R. Tolkien

183. Let us forgive each other—only then will we live in peace.
- Leo Tolstoy

184. It’s said in Hollywood that you should always forgive your enemies—because you never know when you’ll have to work with them.
- Lana Turner

185. Without forgiveness, there’s no future.
- Desmond Tutu

186. Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain

187. We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies.
- Voltaire

188. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
- Voltaire

189. Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.
- William Arthur Ward

190. Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.
- William Arthur Ward

191. Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.
- William Arthur Ward

192. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.
- William Arthur Ward

193. It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.
- Jessamyn West

194. Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

195. The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
- Oscar Wilde

196. My great mistake, the fault for which I can’t forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality.
- Oscar Wilde

197. Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven.
- Charles Williams

198. Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision.
- Randall Worley

199. Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always.
- Dan Zadra

200. The Past: Our cradle, not our prison; there is danger as well as appeal in its glamour. The past is for inspiration, not imitation, for continuation, not repetition.
- Israel Zangwill

CONCLUSION

To hear these quotes, forgiveness is as mysterious and powerful as love itself. I look forward to the day when I can fully forgive myself and my family for all the pain that we caused ourselves and one another so many years ago. But, I cannot force this to happen before my heart is truly ready, though I wish I could. They say time heals all wounds. I forgive a little more each day. But, I’m still not there yet.

[Post Script: See more forgiveness quotes in the comments below. Rather than changing the title of this post—which would require changing all the links, too—I simply added all the new relevant quotes that I found while making other subsequent quotes lists to the comments section. Peace! : ) ]

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