All About You — Day 22: Be Your Own Guardian Angel

[For “Day 21: Fire Your Devil’s Advocate,” click here.]

ALL ABOUT YOU — DAY 22:

BE YOUR OWN GUARDIAN ANGEL

Now that you know how to fire
your devil’s advocate, it’s time to learn how to be your own “guardian angel.” Your spiritual guiding light to help you arrive at all of your life’s destinations safely and soundly.

Think of your guardian angel as the opposite of your devil’s advocate. Whereas your devil’s advocate focuses on all the things that could go wrong and harps on them, your guardian angel is like your own personal mentor, cheerleader, or coach that encourages you to keep reaching for your dreams and taking the necessary steps to get there, while steering you clear from danger.

GUARDIAN ANGEL’S SCRIPT

These are responses to the devil’s advocate script. Whenever you try to share your big dreams with family, friends, etc., and they respond with any of the subsection “a.” responses below, you can safely assume that they are part of your network of external devil’s advocates. Stop sharing you big dreams with any of your external devil’s advocates. Change the subject quickly. Ask them questions about their lives. If they try to lure you back to the subject of your big dream, don’t let them—unless you want to hear more discouragingly negative so-called “advice” from people who are supposed to support you. That’s just too painful! So, unless you’re a glutton for punishment, guard your dreams from all such devil’s advocates, or naysayers.

What if you’ve already shared your big dreams with them and already heard all the sub. “a.” responses below? Then, you need to put your guardian angels to work with their own positive script (the sub. “b.” responses below) to counteract those negative messages. Because, if you don’t, all that negativity will continue to rattle around in your head and sabotage your efforts to make all your dreams come true.

The sub. “b.” responses are NOT for you to say to your external devil’s advocates. (You can’t convince them with anything you say. Heck, they might not even accept it as true when you finally do succeed! Devil’s advocates can be that stubborn! Even after you make it, they will attribute it to blind luck or something else, refusing to give credit to you. So, don’t waste your time or engage in any more stressful, draining, useless discussions with them about it.) Instead, these sub. “b.” responses are for you to say to yourself in your own head and heart—repeatedly—as often as any of the sub. “a.” criticisms pop into your head.

1.a. “Are you serious/crazy/out of your mind?!”

1.b. “What I’m doing is the most sane thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

2.a. “It’ll never work!”

2.b. “I know this will work because I’ve done the research and am willing to learn and do whatever it takes to make it work.”

3.a. “If it’s such a good idea, why hasn’t it already been done?”

3.b. “Great new ideas pop up all the time! Now is the time for mine!”

4.a. “It’s already been done.”

4.b. “It hasn’t been done the way I plan to do it. I know because I’ve done the research! The fact that there’s similar stuff out there is all the more reason to believe that my idea, with its vast improvements, will work!”

5.a. “What makes you think you can do it better?”

5.b. “I know I can do it better because I believe in my product/service with all my heart and I’m willing to work my butt off and to never give up. All the successful people in the world swear by this iron-clad formula.”

6.a. “What do you know about starting a business?”

6.b. “I know as much as many others who became wildly successful. I study successful people and how they got that way. I know that they had a burning desire and then let their minds, hearts, and bodies do whatever was necessary to turn their dreams into reality. I know I can do that, too, and that’s enough for now. My heart, mind, and body will show me the way.”

7.a. “What do you know about computers/blogging/writing/etc.?”

7.b. “I know I love it and I’m willing to learn and do everything to be successful at it. And, that’s enough by everyone’s standards whom I trust.”

8.a. “Doesn’t that cost a lot of money—money you don’t have?”

8.b. “No. Lots of dreams and businesses got started with little or no money. Plus, I’m changing my mindset about money to join the ranks of successful people everywhere, who got that way by being extremely frugal and by educating themselves about money and investments! I’ll do the same.”

9.a. “People a lot smarter than you have tried and failed.”

9.b. “I don’t care how smart anyone is—if they failed, it’s because they quit. I’m not gonna fail because I’m not gonna quit!”

10.a. “People a lot more skilled than you have tried and failed.”

10.b. “I don’t care how skilled anyone is—if they failed, it’s because they quit. I’m not gonna fail because I’m not gonna quit!

11.a. “People a lot more experienced than you have tried and failed.”

11.b. “I don’t care how experienced anyone is—if they failed, it’s because they quit. I’m not gonna fail because I’m not gonna quit!

12.a. “There’s already too much competition in that field.”

12.b. “No matter how high the competition, there’s always room for someone with a burning desire to make it happen; and, I’m that person!”

13.a. “Do you have any idea how cut-throat the competition is?!”

13.b. “No matter how tough the competition, there’s always room for someone with a burning desire to make it happen; and, I’m that person!”

14.a. “You have to have the right connections, and you just don’t.”

14.b. “Connections only get your foot in the door. My burning desire’s gonna open all the doors I need to walk through to get as far as I want to go!

15.a. “You have to have a lot of money, and you just don’t.”

15.b. “Money’s nice. But, it still doesn’t beat burning desire.”

16.a. “You have to have the right education, and you just don’t.”

16.b. “I can learn whatever I need to succeed. My burning desire will show me where I can find, study, and make my own all the things I need to know.”

17.a. “You have to have the right skills/experience/training, and you just don’t.”

17.b. “I can learn any skill, gain any experience, get any training I need along the way. The only thing I really need is burning desire, which I have!”

18.a. “You have to have a whole lot of talent, and you just don’t.”

18.b. “Talent is nothing compared to hard work coupled with burning desire; and, I’ve got those Aces in the hole! Plus a whole lot of talent!”

19.a. “You have to work like a maniac, and you just won’t.”

19.b. “I’ve never found anything worth working hard for until now. You won’t know what the meaning of the word ‘maniac’ is till I’m through!”

20.a. “You’re too young/naive/trusting/nice. People will take advantage of you.”

20.b. “My dream is like my baby. I may have let people take advantage of me in the past, but I’ll die protecting my baby from any harm.”

21.a. “You’re too old/stubborn/inflexible. Who’s gonna do business with you?”

21.b. “I’ll learn the people skills necessary. I’ve already read ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People‘ and I’m putting those skills into practice!”

22.a. “No offense, but you’re not attractive/smart/talented enough for that.”

22.b. “Hard work plus burning desire is all we need to succeed. I have plenty of both. I just have to use them and never quit, which I will—and, I won’t!”

23.a. “You’re going up against impossible odds. You might as well play the Lotto.”

23.b. “I’m betting on myself. No one knows my strengths and weaknesses better than I do, so this is the best investment I’ll ever make in my life.”

24.a. “It’s too risky.”

24.b. “Life is risky. Trusting others to give me what they promised and what’s fair is too risky! But, taking control of my own destiny—by trusting and investing in myself—that’s the only thing in life that’s not too risky.”

25.a. “Are you really gonna risk it all for this?”

25.b. “All my life, I’ve risked not achieving my dream by settling for things I didn’t want. So, yes, I’ll risk everything about that old life—which I never really wanted—to finally live my life the way I truly want to live it right now!”

26.a. “What if you fail? You’ll lose everything!”

26.b. “I can’t fail because I’ll never give up. But, even if I do, I won’t lose anything vital to me, and I’ll have finally lived as I always wanted to live: working hard for something I truly believe in and loving every minute of it!”

27.a. “I hope you have a back up plan.”

27.b. “I do! Whatever doesn’t work along the way, I’m going to make it work. That’s the long and short of my endless number of backup plans.”

28.a. “What about your family? How do they feel about all this?”

28.b. “Those who love me enough to support me are my true family.”

29.a. “What about your friends? What do they think about all this?”

29.b. “Those who love me enough to support me are my true friends.”

30.a. “You remember what happened to your last big idea, don’t you?”

30.b. “I sure do! I gave up too soon because I didn’t truly love it. This time, I’ve found my true calling, so I’ll never give up till I succeed!”

When your guardian angel becomes expert at resisting criticisms from all your external devil’s advocates, there’s still the work of combating your own self-doubts:

31.a. “Maybe they’re right.”

31.b. “They don’t know how miserable I’ll be if I continue living a life I never truly wanted. When they express fear for me, they are really expressing fear for themselves. Obviously, they are too afraid to do what I’m doing or else they’d be going after their dreams, too. It’s understandable, but I won’t let their fears keep me from my dreams.”

32.a. “What if I do fail?”

32.b. “I can’t fail because I’ll never give up. But, even if I do, at least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I went for it—and, a lifetime’s worth of great experiences and memories, too!”

33.a. “I’ll be so humiliated!”

33.b. “You can handle it! No matter what happens, you can handle it. Anyway, you have nothing to be ashamed of when you go for your dreams. That takes guts. Most people never try. Best of all, you’re going to make it!”

34.a. “Everyone will think I’m such a loser.”

34.b. “Your opinion is the only one that matters. Won’t you think you’re a loser if you don’t go after your dreams? And, won’t you be proud of yourself that you did—win or lose? So, stop caring what everyone else thinks. If they really cared about you, they would support you no matter the outcome.”

35.a. “They’ll all laugh at me behind my back … maybe even to my face.”

35.b. “Um. Why do you even care about people like that? ‘Nuff said.”

36.a. “I just couldn’t handle it if I fell on my face on this one.”

36.b. “You can handle it! You will handle it if it happens, which it won’t—but, if it does, you will! You’ve handled much worse with much less resources and resolve in your past, so you can handle going after your big dreams, too!”

37.a. “I’ve failed in the past; why do I think I’ll succeed this time?”

37.b. “I didn’t fail; I learned how not to do certain things in the future—all invaluable lessons because I won’t repeat those mistakes. I know myself better; I know the world better; I found my true burning desire; I’m willing to work harder than ever before; and, I simply won’t give up this time!”

38.a. “Maybe I’m just not ready yet to try this now.”

38.b. “Maybe you are! There’s never a perfect time. The longer you wait, the less time you’ll have to make all the mistakes you need to finally succeed. Even if you start now, when you succeed, you’ll wish you started earlier!”

39.a. “Maybe I need to do a lot more research.”

39.b. “Fine, do more research if you really haven’t done enough of that yet. But, at some point, you have to stop sticking your toes in the water and carefully wade into the pool to learn how to swim. No amount of reading about how to swim is as good as actually moving your body in the water!”

40.a. “Maybe I need to save a lot more money first.”

40.b. “You’ve done the math. You’ve taught yourself to live like a true millionaire by adopting a frugal lifestyle. You can do this! Or, if you really do need more cash to start—and that’s not just an excuse—then, get busy saving it, while you continue planning your big dream. But, just remember, you don’t need a whole lot of money to at least start your dreams!”

41.a. “If I do this, when will I ever have time for family?”

41.b. “I can have my dream and my family, too! Lots of people do! If my family loves me, they won’t force me to choose between them and my dream. I’d never give them such ultimatums, and I support their dreams.”

42.a. “If I do this, there’s no turning back and that scares the crap out of me!”

42.b. “Everything worth doing is scary at first. You learn to do things by working through your fears, not avoiding them. That’s how you’ve always done it. Many others have achieved their dreams; so, you can, too!”

43.a. “If I do this, I won’t be able to go on vacations, go out to eat, etc.”

43.b. “And, that’s a good thing! You need to adopt the habits and thinking of folks who achieve their big dreams: thriftiness and single-mindedness. If vacations and restaurants are all you want, don’t change anything. But, if you work at something you truly love, the money will eventually follow!”

44.a. “If I do this, I won’t be able to afford my old lifestyle—maybe for ever.”

44.b. “If you do what you truly love, you’ll be able to afford so much more!”

45.a. “If I do this, I might lose all my friends.”

45.b. “Friends always come and go. If they leave you because you’re going after your dreams, you’re better off without them. You’ll make more.”

46.a. “If I do this and fail, my big dream is over.”

46.b. “My big dream will never be over because I’ll never quit. You can’t fail if you don’t quit. But, I might run out of time if I don’t get started soon!”

47.a. “I could lose everything; then, I’d have to start all over again!”

47.b. “You’ll never lose everything. You’ll always have your brains, your experiences, your dreams, and the people who really care about you. But, you have to be willing to start over as often as necessary to turn your dreams into reality. There are no shortcuts. Each time you get closer!”

48.a. “Maybe I am too old to risk everything.”

48.b. “Maybe you’re not. Do you really want to wait any longer—till you’re absolutely sure you’re too old to just throw up your hands and say, “Too bad! I missed it!” As long as there’s still a chance, by all means, go for it!”

49.a. “Maybe I am too young to run with the ‘big boys.’”

49.b. “There’s no such thing as too young to go after your dreams. If you’re lucky enough to have found your dreams early, take full advantage of it!”

50.a. “Maybe it’s better if I just stick to what I know I can do … even if I hate it.”

50.b. “It’s never better to settle for anything—especially, not for something you hate! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering, ‘What if … ?’ That’s a miserable existence I wouldn’t wish on anyone. If you try it and find you hate it, too, at least you could stop torturing yourself about it.”

This guardian angel’s script is what works for me. It may not be the best script to convince you. Tailor it to your own personal needs, using the most persuasive arguments, language, and style to combat your own devil’s advocate scripts! ; )

TO BE CONTINUED …

This is going to be an adventurous journey into our past, present, and future lives. None of us can be prepared for what we might find along the way. So, just sit back and enjoy the ride! Also, I hope at least some of you brave souls will share your answers, insights, and revelations in the comments below for everyone’s benefit!

When you’re done, collect your answers and keep them in a safe place. I recommend a diary. It makes a precious gift to someone you love, especially you!

[For “Day 23: Mistakes Are Great Teachers,” click here.]

[For entire “All About You!” series, click here.]

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[For “50 Negative v. Positive Thoughts,” click here.]

[For “10 Harmful Thoughts,” click here.]

[For “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary,” click here.]

[For “20 Questions for Your Diary,” click here.]

[For “Requests for Cuckoo in Your Nest!,” click here.]

[For “How to Be an Extrovert,” click here.]

[For “My 10 Commandments,” click here.]

[For “Fan Your Inner Flame Till It Burns Bright,” click here.]

[For “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” click here.]

[For more “Easy Steps to Success with People,” click here.]