All About You — Day 15: The Big “Do Over”

[For “Day 14: What Do You Wish You Could Do?,” click here.]

ALL ABOUT YOU — DAY 15:

THE BIG “DO OVER”

How many times have you wished you could undo something you did? Or, wished you did something you didn’t do? What if you could go back in time and redo those things? Would you have the guts to go through with it?

After all, we took the paths we did for a reason. Whether it was fear, ignorance, or just plain apathy, would we have the courage to do things differently if we only had the chance? Not if we never took the time to consider exactly what or how we would do anything differently based on everything we know now. Here’s your chance to consider these important questions. Because, in a very real way, we always get a second chance, not in our past, but in our future, to make the right decisions, when similar opportunities always present themselves.

Figuring out what we would have done differently at major crossroads in our pasts will give us the strength to make the best decisions for ourselves in the future.

BRAINSTORMING EXERCISE

1. Preparation

Clear your mind of all other thoughts. If stray thoughts not related to this exercise wander into your mind, let them drift right back out of your mind without paying any special attention to it. (If you think it’s something important that you’re afraid to forget later, just jot it down quickly and let it out of your thoughts again.)

2. Let it All Flow Freely

Use paper or the computer. Whatever is more comfortable for you. Jot down or type everything. Don’t cross out or delete anything (even if you suspect you might have already recorded it). Don’t reread your answers either (or check if you already recorded it) because doing so will break the flow. Just keep going. Ask yourself the question repeatedly and write down every answer that pops into your mind.

Complete this sentence: “If I could start my life over again, I would …”

a. Stay in the Present

There are probably hundreds of possible answers to this question. I list below the ones that immediately came to my mind as the answers that different people might come up with. Don’t judge yourself based on your own answers. That’s not the point of this exercise. The words you choose are merely clues to help you see and start to understand the bigger picture of who you are right now, right here—as well as who you no longer are or who you would like to be but have not become yet.

b. Possible Answers

… implement better hygiene at an early age

… take better care of my body from an early age

… stop letting my mom cut, perm, or style my hair

… stop cutting, perming, and styling Mom’s and my sisters’ hair

… start reading lots of classical literature as early as possible

… stop doing all the work that a child shouldn’t do

… stop letting Mom get away with beating me or my sisters

… stop believing that my life purpose was to help my family

… start believing I can do anything I work hard enough for

… stop playing violin immediately or never start

… take piano lessons seriously for a couple of years then quit

… stop performing (music/dance/etc.) for parents’ friends/relatives

… stop bailing out my sisters with their homework or other messes

… stop keeping my family’s web of secrets from one another

… stop doing anything illegal or shady at Dad’s urging

… befriend teachers I trust and respect and stay in touch

… befriend school counselors I trust and respect and stay in touch

… never stop drawing, arts and crafts, storytelling, and fantasizing

… practice whistling till I got good at it at an early age

… learn to sing in tune and confidently at an early age

… learn to play all major sports competently at an early age

… learn how to be funny, likable, and popular at an early age

… learn Spanish at an early age from my classmates and neighbors

… learn Korean at an early age from my parents, relatives, and church

… learn self defense or martial arts and get strong at the gym

… start a diary as soon as I could and keep every single entry of them

… start writing poems, short stories, etc., as soon as I could and save them

… follow Jack LaLanne’s diet and fitness advice for an extended life

… never develop a taste for processed food, alcohol, smoking, or other toxins

… call the cops the first time my parents beat each other or us kids in the U.S.

… refuse to get in the car whenever Dad was drunk and driving

… refuse to participate in or witness Mom and Dad’s fights

… go straight to the police whenever Mom or Dad throws me out of the house

… go straight to the police whenever Mom or Dad threaten to kill anyone

… not stay up all night letting Mom complain to me about Dad

… not drive all night long with Mom hunting for Dad in Korean bars

… not stay up all night letting my sisters complain about their problems

… read all the self help books I can get my hands on and study them well

… never allow myself to become codependent with family, friends, or lovers

… never allow myself to take over the parenting role from my parents

… never allow myself to become the role model for my sisters

… let my sisters figure out what they want more on their own

… let my sisters be my sisters and my friends be my friends

… be kind, generous, and cheerful w/o letting myself get take advantage of

… learn as much as I could from school but study more on my own

… find and keep friends worth having and keeping

… find and keep mentors worth having and keeping

… skip football games, cheerleader tryouts, and school dances

… skip the crushes and start to date nice, smart boys in high school

… be very careful about trusting anybody with my mind, body, or cash

… stop wasting too much time on board games and video games

… get comfortable working with numbers and math in general a.s.a.p.

… not waste time with pre-calculus or calculus

… not hang out with friends so much and focus on my studies more

… get straight “A’s,” including in all the advanced courses

… complete/apply for all college scholarships/grants

… compete for all the speech/debate/writing contests I could find

… secretly save/invest as much as I could and as soon as I could

… study personal finance, real estate, stock market, and entrepreneurship

… start my own after school and weekend business, perhaps teaching ESL

… move away from my family as soon as I turn 18 years old

… at age 18, sell my ESL business to finance my college education

… double major in English and History and dabble in lots fun courses

… start dating different men to learn about different types of men

… get to know a lot of different kinds of people but none too closely

… write a personal development/finance book while in college

… start a new personal development/finance seminar/lecture business

… have plenty of fun all along the way—lots of laughs and smiles! : )

TO BE CONTINUED …

This is going to be an adventurous journey into our past, present, and future lives. None of us can be prepared for what we might find along the way. So, just sit back and enjoy the ride! Also, I hope at least some of you brave souls will share your answers, insights, and revelations in the comments below for everyone’s benefit!

When you’re done, collect your answers and keep them in a safe place. I recommend a diary. It makes a precious gift to someone you love, especially you!

[For “Day 16: If Only One Year to Live,” click here.]

[For entire “All About You!” series, click here.]

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[For “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary,” click here.]

[For “20 Questions for Your Diary,” click here.]

[For “Requests for Cuckoo in Your Nest!,” click here.]

[For “How to Be an Extrovert,” click here.]

[For “My 10 Commandments,” click here.]

[For “Fan Your Inner Flame Till It Burns Bright,” click here.]

[For “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” click here.]

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