Where’s the Girl Power?

Saturday, August 16th 2008 by Shanel Yang

From “Charlie’s Angels” to “Friends” to “Sex and the City,” I grew up wanting that elusive set of cool, funny, and loyal best friends that would see me through thick and thin and would never let men, money, or jealousy get between us—at least not for long.

At age 42, having watched people closely all my life, I think I can safely say that these were all very nice fantasies, nothing more, nothing less. But, to still believe in them in your 30s or later is about as healthy for a grown woman as patiently waiting for her Prince Charming to come along and carry her off on his white steed to gallop off into the sunset and live happily ever after. (Ironically, that’s the Cinderella story that Carrie Bradshaw reads to Charlotte’s little girl in the “Sex and the City” movie, after which she feels the need to quickly add that, in all seriousness, such things never happen in real life!)

Only the very lucky woman can hope to find even just two other approximately same-aged female friends who magically get along with, and truly love, both each other and her, without fighting for one or the other’s attention, or talking about whoever happens not to be present this time behind her back. Sad, but too true.

Some women, like Oprah Winfrey, seem to have found at least one loyal female friend, as she has in her long-time best friend Gayle King. I hope they stay friends, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someday even they broke up. Even long time female best friend breakups are pretty common. Childhood best friends Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie stopped their friendship for a while for reasons never revealed by either of them. At least they remained faithful to each other in that one regard. They reunited two years later, but no longer joined at the hip as they once were.

In the 80s and 90s, Madonna went through best friends almost as quickly as she went through her men. Sandra Bernhard and Rosie O’Donnell were just a couple of her casualties left in the wake of whatever she did that was so bad that they each stopped talking to her. Rosie finally patched things up with her—sort of—this year, but they are definitely more or less lukewarm friends now. Denise Richardson and Heather Locklear were thick and thieves—until Denise stole Heather’s man. What an awful breakup that was! Heather has had nothing but hard times ever since. She’s reportedly seriously depressed these days. Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham were best friends for about five minutes, even exchanging post-birth crash dieting tips.

When I try to think of close celebrity female friendships that actually might last, Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox come to mind. But, even with the nicest people, adult friendships—especially between females—tend to drift apart. Still, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for Oprah, Gayle, Jennifer and Courtney. I hope they end up being the exceptions that prove the rule! As for Girl Power in general, it exists in every woman’s ability to become her own most trusted, most cherished best friend!

Be sure to get the latest articles as soon as they’re posted by signing up here!

[For “300 Friendship Quotes,” click here.]

[For “All About You: Peers (Allies & Enemies),” click here.]

[For “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary,” click here.]

[For “20 Questions for Your Diary,” click here.]

[For “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” click here.]

[For “Fan Your Inner Flame Till It Burns Bright, click here.]

[For “Jealous Much? … Make It Work for You!,” click here.]

[For “Is Guilt Ever a Good Thing?,” click here.]

[For “Get Bored to Get Creative,” click here.]

[For “What Would You Do If You Couldn’t Fail?,” click here.]

[For “How to Set and Achieve Goals in 5 Simple Steps,” click here.]

[For “25 Statements to Happiness,” click here.]