So Much Self Help, So Little Time!
There’s a mountain of information out there! In bookstores, on TV, on the radio, and on the internet! How to separate the wheat from the chaff?
Here is some self help advice to help you narrow down the mind-numbing choices to the few that make the most sense for your special needs.
Your brain is like a computer (or a big closet). It has a lot of memory (or a lot of space). But, you can’t find anything in it unless you store stuff in it in an organized fashion and then remember where you put everything.
But, the more you put in it, the more organized your system has to be and the more you have to remember. You always say you’ll go back later and clean it all up, delete old files (throw out old clothes), and reorganize everything, but you never do. (Or, you’ve read “How to Organize Your Closet in 5 Simple Steps” and you’ve actually been inspired to clean out your closet, in which case, congratulations!)
For the same reason that it’s better to have a small closet with nothing in it but clothes we love to wear, it’s better to have a small library of self help books with nothing in it but information that really speaks to us (or small number of internet self help websites that we visit regularly). It not only cuts down on clutter, saving us huge chunks of time, and, thus, simplifying our lives, but we also get the best intended, most efficient use from our valuable possessions.
Now, you may be thinking, “I see your point about self help books, CDs, and DVDs being expensive—like clothes, shoes, and accessories—so it makes sense that I shouldn’t waste my money on anything I won’t really use. But, why shouldn’t I spend as much time as I want perusing self help websites when they’re free?”
It’s true that you don’t have to pay a penny more than the usual cost of using the internet (cost of computer, cable or DSL, higher electricity bill, etc.) when you spend too much time on most websites, but don’t you value your time? It’s worth at least as much as your books or your clothes! The contents of your entire library and closet are replaceable. In fact, your entire house is replaceable. But, your time, sadly, is not. Our parents only warned us to spend our money wisely. But, they had no idea that there would be an avalanche of free information to peruse on the internet. If they had, they also might have warned us to spend our time wisely. Here’s a good motto to live by in these days of information explosion: If you’re not getting the most bang for your buck or time, move along.
5 TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL
1. Don’t buy it unless you’re ready to use it now. This advice goes double for clothes, presents, decorations, etc. Don’t buy things based on your imagination of how great you’ll look in it after you lose 10 lbs., how much you’re sure one of your friends or family members will love it, or how great it’ll look in your future fantasy home someday. If you aren’t ready to use it now, you can always buy it later. Write down enough information about it in your diary so you can find if you still want it. This is a major way to declutter your life, get organized, and stay focused.
2. Read the entire first chapter before you buy it. This is easy enough to do these days because almost every bookstore doubles as a coffee shop. Or, read all the excerpts from that book that are published for free on the internet. At the very least, read enough reviews of that book on the internet—both the good ones and the bad ones—to satisfy yourself that it’s worth the risk of buying it without even reading the first chapter. Why read the entire first chapter? Because every book sounds great if you only read the front and back covers, the jackets, and the glowing snippets of longer reviews that have been carefully edited and placed all over the outside of the book by the clever marketing folks paid by the publisher to convince you to buy the book without even taking it for your own test drive.
Even if I’ve read and liked a prior work by the same author (some have the tendency to resell the same product in slightly different packages), I take books out for this test drive and save at least a thousand dollars a year as a result of it:
- a. Read everything on the covers carefully but always with a grain of salt.
For instance, at the top of the front cover of Andrew Carnegie
There’s more on the front cover. A small silver disk that looks like an award has these words in it: “The New York Times Book Review: A Notable Book of the Year.” Now, I’m more impressed. Finally, near the bottom of the front cover, an excerpt from a review in The Washington Post: “Never has this story been told so thoroughly or so well as … in this massive and monumental biography.” Now, I’m impressed. Two of our country’s oldest and most respected newspapers gave this book their stamp of approval. But, I’m just getting started.
I turn the book over and read everything on the back cover. A few more well-respected newspapers chime in with their glowing reviews: The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Los Angeles Times. Two well-known biographers of other historical figures also sing the book’s praises. But, I expected no less from what I saw on the front cover. The most surprising, and, thus, the most useful, review so far was the one by The Wall Street Journal that claimed the book was not only “beautifully crafted” but also “fun to read.” I thought to myself, “This huge book is actually fun to read?” (It’s 878 pages, complete with annotations and index!) I was intrigued. But, I also knew that one person’s “fun” is another’s “just-shoot-me-now” misery.
- b. Next, open the book and read any additional reviews or testimonials.
Here are some examples from this book that did not impress me because they simply said too little to be useful:
“Rich and absorbing.” — Business Week
“A terrific writer.” — The Seattle Times
“Nasaw delivers a vivid history of nineteenth-century capitalism.” — Fortune
“Masterful.” — Commentary
“Nasaw is an indefatigable researcher.” — Pittsburgh Post Gazette
“[A]n important contribution.” — Financial Times (London)
“Nasaw’s portrait of Carnegie is one of the most fascinating biographies in many years.” — BookLoons
A few of the reviews interest me because they echo the earlier point that impressed me about this obviously scholarly tome also being fun to read:
“Nasaw’s Carnegie is a man of enthusiasms, and the author captures his ebullience in limpid prose, making this biography a delight to read.” — The Nation
“Nasaw … understands narrative well, making the Carnegie biography a lively reading experience as well as a rewarding scholarly mission.” — Houston Chronicle
After all, if you’re thinking about investing more than $20 retail like I did (though I just noticed that it’s going for a low as $5 at Amazon.com when I added the link above so you can check out the reviews for yourself), not to mention the I-don’t-know-how-many-total-hours-it-takes-to-read-this-hefty-puppy part of the commitment (I’m still working on mine), then it’s definitely worth the 15 minutes to go through this test drive exercise before making your final decision.
- c. Read the preface, introduction, and first chapter.
Why all three? The preface and introduction give you more detailed, and, thus, more valuable information about the contents of the entire book. But, reading the entire first chapter is the best way—short of reading even more of the book, of course—to know if the author is likely to deliver on all the promises made in the preface, introduction, and rave reviews plastered all over the outside of the book.
If, after you’ve done all that, you’re still excited about reading the entire book as soon as possible, then buy it and enjoy! This book passed the test drive with flying colors! If not, then move on to the next self help book. Life is too short to waste on self help books that you have to force yourself to read because you think or hope it’ll be good for you. Not only will you waste your time and money, these so-so books end up taking up valuable space in your homes and, worse, in your minds. Getting where we need is go is hard enough without a map. But, trying to get there with a poorly drawn map is a guaranteed way to get seriously lost along the way.
3. What about CDs and DVDs? Not surprisingly, since you can’t really test drive these, they’re pretty much hit and miss. My track record with the few that I’ve bought has been terrible, so I tend to stay away from them. But, one CD that is great is Warming The Stone Child: Myths & Stories About Abandonment And The Unmothered Child
4. What About TV and Radio? I almost never listen to the radio. And, when I used to watch TV before I gave it up as part of my plan to get rid of all my debts, I loved watching The Suze Orman Show, The Millionaire Inside, and The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch for financial and entrepreneurial advice. I also loved watching The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, Iron Chef America, and Food Network Challenge for inspiration, motivation, and the high spirit of competition. The contestants I rooted for always gave it everything they had even when it seemed to me that the challenges were crazy difficult—especially if they refused to quit. Compared to what they had just put themselves through, I felt I could easily accomplish everything I had planned for myself to do that week. Finally, I loved watching The Food Network in general for all the friendly, positive, and, often, funny hosts who love sharing their cooking, traveling, and entertaining tips with the world.
My advice to you about picking self help radio programs or TV shows is this: If it motivates you or makes you feel good, go for it! (Unless you’re trying to get medieval on your debts like I am. In which case, cut the cable and stick to books. Without TV, you’ll suddenly have all the time you need to read all your books.)
5. What about self help websites? A combination of No. 2 and No. 4 above. In other words, test drive it as you would for a book you might buy. Be more critical—not less—just because the information is free. Your time and brain space are more valuable than your cash, so don’t fill them up with junk information. But, if it speaks to you or makes you feel good, read it and keep reading it as long as it makes you feel that way. And, if it stops (including this one), you stop, too.
CONCLUSION
What you shouldn’t do is simply take the advice of your family, friends, or coworkers that a certain book, CD, or DVD is great. It may be great for them, but it may be terrible for you. For years I dismissed Who Moved My Cheese?
We all learn differently—responding amazingly well to some styles of teaching and, strangely enough, not at all to others—sort of like how each of our bodies respond differently to similar diets and exercise programs. One size does not fit all. It’s up to us to find out what our best learning styles are and to get as much of that on our plates as possible while cutting down on the rest of the stuff that’s not so good for us. Feed your mind what it needs most and watch it grow like gangbusters!
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[For “10 Reasons to Keep a Diary,” click here.]
[For “20 Questions for Your Diary,” click here.]
[For “Top 5 Simple Yet Profound Books,” click here.]
[For “Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life,” click here.]
[For “Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself,” click here.]
[For “Test Your Spending Habits,” click here.]
[For “Why We Buy It Even If We Don’t Need It,” click here.]
[For “How I Paid off $50,000 of Debt in One Year,” click here.]
[For “So Much Self Help, So Little Time!,” click here.]
[For “Why Do the Matrix Heroes Dress So Cool?,” click here.]
[For “Laughter Is Great Medicine: 100 Funny Movies,” click here.]
[For “70 Movies about How to Succeed in Life,” click here.]
