Interview with the Housewife

In the 1960s, when Studs Terkel interviewed housewife Therese Carter for his book Working (1974), women were ambivalent about their roles as stay-at-home mothers.

But, despite her doubts, Mrs. Carter is proud of her special contribution to society by providing a loving home for her husband and their three children.

Her family lives in a nice neighborhood of blue-collar skilled workers, such as plumbers, electricians, and truck drivers. Her husband is the foreman of an auto body repair shop. Their children—two boys and one girl—are ages 21, 18, and 14, and all still live at home.

THE HOUSEWIFE

Mrs. Carter begins her interview modestly and a little embarrassed, “How would I describe myself? It’ll sound terrible—just a housewife. (Laughs.) It’s true. What is a housewife? You don’t have to have any special talents. I don’t have any.”

Keep in mind when you read this next part that almost everyone smoked cigarettes in the 1960s and also did it everywhere—in offices and restaurants and even on airplanes. The first warnings on cigarette packages came out in 1966 and merely cautioned: “Cigarette Smoking May Be Hazardous to Your Health.”

“First thing I do in the morning is come in the kitchen and have a cigarette. Then, I’ll put the coffee on and whatever else we’re gonna have for breakfast: bacon and eggs, sausage, waffles, toast, whatever. Then, I’ll make one lunch for young Bob [one of her sons]—when school’s on, I’ll pack more—and I get them off to work. I’ll usually throw a load of clothes in the washer, while I’m waiting for the next batch to get up out of bed, and carry on from there. It’s nothing really.”

Then, she begins to relax during the interview and warms up to the subject of what she does all day long: “Later, I’ll clean house and sew, do something. I sew a lot of dresses for Cathy [her daughter] and myself. I brought this sewing machine up here years ago. It belongs here. This is my room and I love it, the kitchen.”

But, soon she is back to apologizing for the work she does: “I start my dinner real early because I like to fuss. I’ll bake, cook … There’s always little interruptions, kids running in and out, ‘take me here, take me there.’ After supper, I really let down. I’m not a worker after supper. I conk out. I sit and relax and read, take a bath, have my ice cream, and go to bed. (Laughs.) It’s not really a full day. You think it IS? You make me sound important. Keep talking. (Laughs.) [¶] I don’t think it’s important because for so many years it wasn’t considered. I’m doing what I’m doing, and I fill my day, and I’m very contented. Yet, I see women all around that do a lot more than I do. Women that have to work. I feel that they’re worthy of much more of a title than housewife. [¶] If anybody else would say this, I’d talk back to ‘em, but I MYSELF feel like it’s not much. Anybody can do it. I was gone for four days, and Cathy took over and managed perfectly well without me. (Laughs.) I felt great. I really did. I knew she was capable.”

She talks about her skills as a mother: “I’ll never say I’m really a good mother until I see the way they all turn out. So far, they’ve done fine. I had somebody tell me, in the hospital, I must have done a good job of raising them. I just went along from day to day, and they turned out all right.”

Once again, she questions the value of her work: “Oh—I even painted the house last year. How much does a painter get paid for painting a house? (Laughs.) What? I’m a skilled craftsman myself? I never thought about that. Artist? No. (Laughs.) I suppose if you do bake a good cake, you can be called an artist. But I never heard anybody say that. I bake bread, too. Oh gosh, I’ve been a housewife for a long time. (Laughs.) [¶] I’ve never thought about what we’d be worth. I’ve read these things in the paper: If you were a tailor or a cook, you’d get so much an hour. I think that’s a lot of baloney. I think if you’re gonna be a mother or a housewife, you should do these things because you want to, not because you have to. [¶] You look around at all these career women, and they’re really doing things. What am I doing? Cooking and cleaning. (Laughs.) It’s necessary; but, it’s not really great. [¶] It’s known they lead a different life than a housewife. I’m not talking about Golda Meir or anybody like that. Just even some women in the neighborhood that have to work and come home and take care of the family. I really think they deserve an awful lot of credit.”

She believes society does not value housewives, so she usually hides the fact that she loves being one: “A housewife is a housewife, that’s all. Low on the totem pole. I can read the paper and find that out. Someone who is a model or a movie star, these are the great ones. I don’t necessarily think they are, but they’re the ones you hear about. A movie star will raise this wonderful family; and, yet, she has a career. I imagine most women would feel less worthy. Not just me. [¶] Somebody who goes out and works for a living is more important than somebody who doesn’t. What they do is very important in the business world. What I do is only important to five people. I don’t like putting a housewife down, but everybody has done it for so long. It’s sort of the thing you do. Deep down, I feel what I’m doing is important. But, you just hate to say it, because what are you? Just a housewife. (Laughs.) [¶] I love being a housewife. Maybe that’s why I feel so guilty. I shouldn’t feel happy doing what I’m doing. (Laughs.) Maybe you’re not supposed to be having fun. I never looked on it as a duty.

“I think Women’s Lib puts down a housewife. Even though they say if this is what a woman wants, it’s perfectly all right. I feel it’s said in such a snide way: ‘If this is all she can do, and she’s contented, leave her alone.’ It’s patronizing.”

She talks about her leisure activities: “I think a lot. (Laughs.) Oh sure, I daydream. Everybody does. Some of ‘em are big, and some of ‘em are silly. Sometimes you dream you’re still a kid and you’re riding your bike. Sometimes you daydream you’re really someone special and people are asking you for your advice, that you’re in a really big deal. (Laughs.) [¶] I have very simple pleasures. I’m not a deep reader. I can’t understand a lot of things. I’ve never read—oh, how do you pronounce it—Camus? I’m not musically inclined. I go as far as Boston Pops and the Beatles. (Laughs.) I don’t know anything about art at all. I could never converse with anybody about it. They’d have to be right, because I wouldn’t know whether they’re right or wrong. I have no special talents in any direction. [¶] I just read a new Peter De Vries book. I can’t think of the name of it; that’s terrible. Always Panting! I was the first Peter De Vries fan in the world. I introduced my sister to it; and, that was the one big thing I’ve ever done in my life. (Laughs.) Now, I’m reading Grapes of Wrath. I’m ashamed of myself. Everybody in the family has read that book; and, I’ve had it for about fifteen years. Finally, I decided to read it because my daughter raved about it.”

She has a strong work ethic and is quite disciplined about separating her work from her leisure activities: “I look on reading right now as strictly enjoyment and relaxation. So, I won’t even let myself pick up a book before ten o’clock at night. If I do, I’m afraid I might forget about everything else. During lunch time, I’ll look through a magazine because I can put it down and forget about it. But, real enjoyable reading I’ll do at night. [¶] I’d feel guilty reading during the day. (Laughs.) In your own home! There are so many things you should be doing. If I did it, I wouldn’t think the world’s coming to an end, but that’s the way I’m geared. That’s not the time to do it, so I don’t do it.”

Will she do anything else? “When I went to school a few years ago, it was very startling around here. Why would an older woman like me be wanting to go back to school? They wouldn’t say it directly, but you hear things. I took some courses in college English, psychology, sociology. I enjoyed going, but I didn’t want to continue on and be a teacher. I still enjoyed being at home much more. Oh, I might go back if there was anything special I’d like. [¶] I enjoy cooking. If it was a job, maybe I wouldn’t like doing it. As low on the totem pole as I consider being a housewife, I love every minute of it. You will hear me gripe and groan like everybody else, but I do enjoy it.

“When the kids leave, I want it to be a happy kind of time. Just to do the things I would like to do. Not traveling. Just to do what you want to do, not at a certain time or a certain day. Sewing a whole dress at one time. Or cooking for just two people. [¶] That’s what makes me feel guilty. Usually, when kids go off and get married, the mother sits and cries. But, I’m afraid I’m just gonna smile all the way through it. (Laughs.) They’ll think I’m not a typical mother. I love my kids. I love ‘em to pieces. But, by the same token, I’ll be just so happy for them and for myself and for Bob [her husband], too. I think we deserve a time together alone.”

She ends on a positive, philosophical note: “I don’t look at housework as a drudgery. People will complain: ‘Why do I have to scrub floors?’ To me, that isn’t the same thing as a man standing there—it’s his livelihood—putting two screw together, day after day after day. It would drive anybody nuts. It would drive me wild. That poor man doesn’t even get to see the finished product. I’ll sit here and I’ll cook a pie; and, I’ll get to see everybody eat it. This is my offering. I think it’s the greatest satisfaction in the world to know you’ve pleased somebody. Everybody has to feel needed. I know I’m needed. I’m doing it for them; and, they’re doing it for me. And, that’s the way it is.”

CONCLUSION

Mrs. Carter proves that not every person, whether man or woman, needs to have a job that pays cash to feel important or to contribute to society. In fact, her services to her family and to herself are priceless because no one person could replace all the roles she alone fulfills for her very lucky family. The fact that she loves her occupation so much only enhances her ability to perform her duties well.

A lot has changed since the 1960s. The women’s movement has finally embraced stay-at-home moms—as well as stay-at-home dads—as valuable members of society. In 2008, more than 40 years after Mrs. Carter’s half-apologetic and half-proud interview, there is no need to ever refer to anyone as “just” a housewife.

Learn more intimate details about other U.S. occupations from people who worked in them for years by reading the other articles in the “Interviews With” series.

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